100 Santa Banta jokes

1day santa had a dream,in that some1 killed him.Next day he closed his bank a/c. B’coz bank’s slogan was ‘WE MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE’

1Din santa ko fansi lagne wali thi. Jailer ne pucha koi akhari khwahish. santa bola”muje fansi dete wqt mere pair upar aur sar nich Rakhna

1Srdar-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai 2srdar:kaise? 1 srdar:Mene”I Luv U”kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai.

1st Sardar:Jab main chhota tha tab Kutab Minar se gir gaya tha 2nd sardar: Fir tu mar gya ki bach gaya? 1st:Mujhe yad nahi kuyoki tab mai bahut chhota tha na.

2srdar jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya 1st:abe bhag 2nd:me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he

3 sardars were going on a bike. Traffic Police raises the hand to stop them. Sardar replies- “Oye pagal ho gaya kya? Pehle hi 3 baithe hai, Tu kaha baithega..”

A drunk santa fails from 3rd floor. People gather around & ask: “Sardar ji ki hoya?” He said”pata nahin main v hune aya haan”!!!

A Girl Romantically said to a santa: Do U want to see the place where they did Apendix Operation to me? santa: No, I hate Hospitals.

A MAN TO HIS FRND-MAIN APNA PURSE GHAR PE BHUL AAYA MUJHE 1000 RS KI ZARURAT HAI BANTA-DOST HI DOST KE KAM ATTA HAI YE LE 10 RS RIKSHA KAR KE PURSE LE AA

A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar : Is that a sun or moon? Other Sardar replies : Oye ! No idea…Im new to this city..

A street dog was chasing Santa and he was laughing. A bystander: why are u laughing? Santa: I have an Airtel phone, but still Hutch network is following me.

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except Santa. He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”

At the scene of accident a Man was crying “Oh god i hv lost my hand!”. Santa: Please Dont cry! look at that man he has lost his head is he crying?

BANK MANAGER ASKS SANTA IN INTERVIEW: “WHAT IS CYCLONE?”SANTA ANSWERS: “IT IS THE LOAN GIVEN TO PURCHASE A CYCLE….!!

banta apna mobile samundar ke pani me phekakar bolta hai, “Aja, upar aja”. His friend asked, “Pani me se upar kaise ayega?”.banta- Kyo nahi ayega, DOLPHIN hai.

Banta: tell me five FERROUCIOUS animals that you can think of…… Santa: 3 lions and 2 tigers.

Banta: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Santa: The taste.

Banta: When did George Washington die? Santa: 2 days b4 his funeral

Banta: yaar tum itne bade ho gaye ho aur abi tak dadi aur mooch nahi aayi. SANTA: yaar main apni maa pe gaya hu na isliye.

DAKU-TERA NAAM KYA HAI.LADY-RITA. DAKU-MERI BEHANKA NAAM BI RITA THA.JA TUJE MAF KIYA.DAKU-TERA KYA NAAM HAI?SANTASANTA,PAR PYARSE LOGMUJE RITA KEHTE HAI.

doc chopra Psychotherapist wanted the name board to be painted infront of his clinic , but our santa painted ” Dr chopra Psycho the rapist “.

Gal to Banta: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge? Banta: Kyon nahin? Mein to diwana hoon shadi-shuda aurton ka.

Girlfriend-Tum to bas apne kam me lage rehte ho..Meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai tumhe! santa -Oye,Pyar karne wale kisi ki parwah nahi karte!

How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday? Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

Interviewer: Sardar ji, Where were u born? santa ji: In punjab. Interviewer: Which part ? santa ji: Which part?, Whole body born in punjab

Judge: Is Sardar ke dono kaan kaat Do! Santa:nahi main andha ho jaunga! Judge: Bewkuf andha kaise hoga? Santa:Main CHASHMA kaise pehnuga

MAN to santa: I got a BRAND new FORD iKON for my wife. santa:WOW! that’s an UNBELIEVABLE & EXCELLENT EXCHANGE OFFER.

Man: Santa where were U born? Santa: Punjab. Man: Which part? Santa: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar.

Museum administrator: That’s a 500 year old statue you’ve broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!

Napolean:”In my dictionary there’s no word called “IMPOSSIBLE” Sardar:”Abi bolne se kya faida,jab kharida tabi barabar dekhna chahie na.

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga!

Police:tumhe kal subah 5 baje fhansi di jayegi santa: HA. HA. HA! police: kyon has rahe ho? santa: mai to subah 8 baje utthoonga

Postman: I Had To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Santa: why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it….

Q: Agar do pipal ke Pedon ko ek rassi se bandh diya jaye to us rassi ko kya kahenge? santa:Us rassi ko bolengey NOKIA – Connecting pipal

Q: Why Santa is standing below the Tube light with an open mouth. A: Because Doctor has advised him: ‘Aaj Light Khana hai!’

Santa : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying…. When Banta asked what he was doing…. He replied… Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar…!!!

Santa 2 pandit: ye tere sir par choti kyu? Pandit: Ye mera ANTENA hai, Isse muje vichar aate hai. Santa: Kamal hai yaha to Dish Tv hai to bhi nahi aate..

Santa and Banta were fixing a bomb in a car. Santa : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Banta : Dont worry, I have one more.

santa asks banta to bring a pepsi. banta brings a bottle of pepsi but goes directly to Tendulkar. why ?? why ?? Ans: Tendulkar is an opener

Santa at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call Modern art? Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!

Santa banta jngl me:Samne sher aya,1ne mitti sher ki ankh me dalke bhagne lga,2nd wahi ruk gya Santa :abe bhag Banta :me kyun bhagu mitti tune dali he

Santa banta ko 3 live Bomb milte hai… Santa aur banta un bombs ko police ko dene Jate hai…….. (raste mein… ) Santa : agar koi bomb raste mehi phat jaye to??? Banta:jhoot bol denge ke 2 hi mile the

Santa Beti ki shadi k liye 24saal ka ladka dekne gaya.Vaha se biwi ko fone kiya- oh gal sun!24 da koi munda ni milya.12-12 de 2 chalenge?

santa gifted a card 2 his dad On his birthday with a sher “Phool bahut hai par gulab jaisa koi nahi Mere baap to bahut hai par, aap jaisa koi nahi”

santa got himself a puzzle game. It took him 10 hard months to finish it. He was so proud of himself because at the side of the box it was written: “2-3 yrs”

Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

santa had called an Englishman for lunch. There was curd on the table. The guest asked what is this? santa didn’t know English, he said “Milk sleeping in night,morning becomes tight”

Santa is so rich he has two swimming pools, one of which is always empty? It’s for people who can’t swim!

santa ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…still he was in jail…….why? coz all the 6 were firebrigade staff !

Santa k ghar ladki hui Banta:Jab ladki badi hogi to ladke ise chedenge. Santa: Maine iska intezam kar liya! Banta:kya? Santa: Iska naam DiDi rakha hai!

Santa khali kadahi me chammach chala raha tha to Banta ne poocha kya bana rahe ho ? Santa- BEWAKOOF bana raha hoon..

santa ki maa: Puttar tujhe yahan se jalandhar jane me to ek din laga par wapas aane me 3 din lag gae wo bhi nai car se? santa: Maa yeh car banane wale bhi pagal hai jane ke liye to 4 gear dete hai par aane ke liye 1 hi gear dete

hai.

SAnta ko raat me bahut machar kaat rahe the, SANTA ne gusse me zahar pee liya aur bola ab kaato saalo sab k sab maroge.

Santa n Banta were watching a cricket match. When Dhoni hits a boundary. Banta: Kya Goal mara. Santa: Raha Na bewakoof ka bewakoof, Goal is mein nahin cricket mein hota hai

santa on phone “Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now”. Doctor: Is this her first child? santa: No this is her husband speaking…………

santa orders pizza. Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces? santa: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

santa proposed a Girl…… Girl said Im 1yr elder to you………..santa said Oye No Problem Soniye,Ill marry you NEXT YEAR.

santa- Raat muje ek aadmi ne chaku dikhakar loot liya. Friend- Lekin tere paasto hamesha gun hoti hai. santa – wo meine chupa di thi, varna wo bhi chori ho jati…

Santa rail mein susu karne gaya, vapis aane par wife aapka pajama gila kaise hua? santa vaha likha tha,sharir ka koi bhi angh bahar na nikale.

Santa roj apni kichen me jata,sugar box kholta or band kar deta! Why ? Because doctor ne jo kaha tha ke apni sugar roj check karna….!

Santa saw a man stealing a purse. THIEF:”There is Rs.1100 in the purse. V can take 50-50″ Santa : Okay,bt Wht bout d remaining 1000?

Santa Singh Ji Zebra Crossing ke Black & White Patte par Bar Bar idhar se Udhar chalte the , Woh kya soch rahe honge ? THINK ???? SALA YEH PIYANO BAJTA KYO NAHI ?

Santa Singh: Will this bus take me to Jalandhar? Driver: Which part? Santa Singh: All of me, of course!

Santa sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.. When a person askied what he was doing.. He replied.. Oye! higher studies yaar…

Santa to banta. Yaar Tumhary Bewi shehar(city) ke hai ya pind(village) ki.. Banta. Pind ki. Santa.ooh acha . main samja shayed Tumhary hai

santa to his friend: yaar mujhay zara apna e-mail id aur password sms kar mera account nahi khul raha banta sends an sms: id– cool_bantasingh@ya password—- ************ mera password kisi nu dassi naa

Santa to nurse-I luv u tumne mera dil chura liya hai,Nurse-Chal jhutha humne to sirf kidney churayi hai dil ko to hath bhi nahi lagaya…

santa was asked, what is a adult joke? Reply came any joke which is eighteen years old.

Santa was driving car zigzag on the road. Traffic inspector stopped him. Santa: Sir, I am learning the car. Inspector: without instructor ? Santa: Sir, this is a correspondence course.

Santa was standing below a tube light with mouth wide open………WHY? Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”.

Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho? Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye.

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, he jumps from the 100th floor At the 50th floor, he remembers he doesn’t have a daughter! At the 25th flr: He’s unmarried! At the 10th: He’s Banta not Santa.

Santa: “When I woke up this morning, I felt like going out and getting a job.”banta: “Did you?” Santa: “No. I stayed in bed until the feeling passed.”

Santa: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me. I don’t know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says “please recharge your card”

Santa: JALDI KAR KHIDKI SE KOOD, POLICE AA RAHI HAI.Banta: LEKIN YE 13’ve MANZIL HAI.Santa: YE SHAGUN-APSHAGUN SOCHNE KA WAQT NAHI HAI

Santa: WHat is another difference between a mosquito and a fly? Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannt mosquito.

Santa: What’s difference between man & Superman? Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

SANTA:BANTA! KHIDKI SE JALDI KOOD,POLICE AA RAHI HAI!BANTA:LEKIN YE13V MANZIL HAISANTA:YAAR!YE SAKUN APSAKUN SOCHNE KA WAQT NAHI HAI.KOOD JA!

Santa’s friend gave him a gun on wedding night & said fire in air if wife is virgin, shoot her if not. santa fired in air 1st nite & shot her on 2nd nite

santa-wo Ladki behri lagti he.Me kuch kehta hu,wo kuch aur hi bolti hai banta:kaise? santa:Mene”I Luv U”kaha,to wo boli Mene kal hi Naye SANDAL kharide hai

Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked: Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: Im writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he cant read very fast.

SEE WHAT ONE SPELLING MISTAKE CAN DO . . . . . . . . . Santa Singh went to Goa.Sent SMS to wife, “Having a wonderful time… wish you were HER.”

What do smart Santa and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but you never see them.

What does Santa do after taking a xerox? He compares it with the original for any spelling mistakes.

What does Santa do after taking photocopies? He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes

What frustrated Banta when his wife gave birth to twins ? He wonders who is the father of the second son!

What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears? He was trying to hold on to a thought.

Heeren Tanna

Hum Jale To Chirag SamaJh Baithe, Mehke To Sab Gulaab SamaJh Baithe, Lafzo Me Kisi Ne Mere Dard Na Dekha,Shayri Padhi Aur Shayar SamaJh Baithe.

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