Santa Banta Jokes and Chutkule

Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him.
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.
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Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: ‘FREE DELIVERY’
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Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.
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One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling,on our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
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Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London,
he found himself needing a toilet badly.
After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldn’t control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself.
Once he had just started, a police official approached him,Hey, What do you think you re doing here?

Banta: sorry I have to Pee
Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.
Officer: Pee here..
have a nice day.

Banta: Oh sir that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ?
Officer: No This is Indian Embassy !!
Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another.

Following was the steps followed by him.

1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option.
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC.
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file.
4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option.

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Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: “FREE DELIVERY”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jeeto: Kal raat tum mujhe neend mein tumne mujhe gaaliyan di
Santa: Tumhari galat fahami hai.
Jeeto: Kaisi galatfahami?
Santa: Yehi ki mein soya tha.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling,
on our Engagement will you give me a RING?
Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Banta was once visiting London. After a long walk in one of very fancy clean streets of London, he found himself needing a toilet badly. After a long search he could not find any, and eventually couldn’t control and chose a silent corner of a clean street to release himself. Once he had just started, a police official approached him,
Hey, What do you think you re doing here?
Banta: sorry I have to “Pee”
Officer: No PP here okay? Follow me
The Police officer took him to a beautiful garden nearby with lots of grass, flowers and singing birds around.
Officer: Pee here.. have a nice day.
Banta: Oh sir that is very nice of you, is this English courtesy ?
Officer: No This is Indian Embassy !!

Santa had a dream in which someone murdered him.
Next day he closed his bank account. Know why?
Because the bank’s slogan was:
We make your dreams come true

Santa:
Major Rohail told me T.V cabel is not good for kids,
they don’t study,so i got rid of it

Banta: Good?
Santa: Now we have a Dish Installed

Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.

Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?

An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope.
Santa Singh was observing him, suddenly a star falls.
Seeing that Santa Singh shouted, what a shot you made

Bantas advise:-
Dont carry umbrella during rain
Keep WHISPER on ur head
ye ghanto tak geelepan
ka ahsas nahi hone deta:D

Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!

Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p

Banta owned a factory.
He issued orders that only married
men would be employed.
Friend asks: Why this ?

Bant reply:
Because married men are more obedient.

Santa Singh tried to light his cigarette. He struck the first match on the match box, but it didnt light.
He tried another, It didnt light too. The third one finally lit his cigarette, carefully blew the match out and put it in his vest pocket.
What for did you put that match in your vest pocket? asked the another man.
Santa replied, Thats a lucky match stick. Ill use it again.

Banta to his new bride, Preeto,
Now that we are married,
do you think you will be able
to live on my small income?

Of course, dear, no trouble,she replied.
But what will you live on?

Heeren Tanna

Hum Jale To Chirag SamaJh Baithe, Mehke To Sab Gulaab SamaJh Baithe, Lafzo Me Kisi Ne Mere Dard Na Dekha,Shayri Padhi Aur Shayar SamaJh Baithe.

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